Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day Weekend

This weekend alternated between wonderful and awful each day. I hate these pain pills almost as much as hate the damn pain. I live in a fog. I can't remember what happened on each day. I know that Gabriel came over to my place on Saturday but I can't remember what we did. I'm getting Saturday and Sunday all mixed up. I know that Monday was a total bust - I didn't see Gabriel at all and didn't get anything done around the house. It's now Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and I'm trying to recount it all but my brain is just not working.

It started on Friday; Dominic had a cleaning job and he wanted me to go with him since his car is in the shop and he figured he could go surf for a while then I'd drop him at the cleaning job and go hang out somewhere and then pick him up and we'd go get Gabriel in the afternoon. Since I was feeling ok I figured I should just stay home and try to put some more stuff away so I just let him have the car. My plan to put things away sort of disintegrated - I started out checking Facebook and e-mail which, of course, took a few hours and by the time I'd finished I was feeling woozy and ended up sleeping the rest of the day. I got a little done later and Dom and Gabriel stopped by in the evening to say hello and Gabriel played with the kittens a bit.

I can't remember what happened during the day on Saturday. I think I had Gabriel for a while but I'm really not sure. I might not have. I have been waking up in a lot of pain lately and sometimes I accidently take two pain killers in the morning instead of just one. On some mornings before I officially get up; I'll sort of halfway awaken, use the bathroom, take the pain pill and go back to sleep for a bit. I always figure that this way when I do get up I won't be in so much pain. It rarely works.

I think Saturday was great. I had Gabriel at the house and he played with the kittens and I we watched kid's tv. I have to confess to a guilty pleasure: those little boys on Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Suite Life on Deck are adorable! They make me wish I was 14 again.

After that we went over to Josh's place to swim and just hang out. Gabriel and Asia were there having a blast in the pool. Josh and his wife are friends of Dom and Leslie's from church. They're very sweet with two adorable little girls who get along great with Gabriel and Asia. I hadn't intended to get in the pool but then I figured maybe the whirlpool would be good for me so I emptied by pocket and hopped in. The next morning we were all going to church so they could introduce me to the gay priest.

Unfortunately Sunday morning was awful. I think I over did it on the Jacuzzi jets and woke up in so much pain I thought I'd just die then and there. I didn’t. Of course, I couldn't remember if I had taken the pain pill or not. I knew I'd been up for a minute but couldn't remember if I'd taken the pill and not wanting to take two I waited around a while and when the pain didn't diminish at all I figured I probably hadn't taken it so I took one and after a bit the pain let up. But by then it was way too late to go to church.

I talked to Leslie after church and we ended up with her taking Gabriel shopping with her and then she dropped him off. By that time I was feeling human and Gabriel and I had a great afternoon. We played here for a while with him stacking all my change and trying to count how much money there was in the basket. We got all the quarters and dimes counted. He figured I had over a hundred dollars there. Then we went to the video game arcade where Gabriel is an impassioned gambler. He plays the games where you can win tickets that you turn in for prizes. Of course you, the parent or grandparent, end up paying $25 for an $8 stuffed animal, but the kid has a blast. And that's the point of it all. After that we were joining Leslie and Dominic on the beach for a bonfire. They were going to barbeque so I offered to bring something. Dom wanted me to bring a cake but Gabriel and I decided that smores would be more fun so I got two dozen Hershey bars and four boxes of graham crackers.

Then we went to a bonfire on the beach with some friends of Dominic's and I had a great time. I was getting the smores stuff out when someone asked where the marshmallows were. I realized then that I'd forgotten the key ingredient. What fun it is to live in a haze. I had lots of everything else but no marshmallows to put it all together. Luckily I'd brought wine from the house and a pie at Safeway and everyone was pleased and Gabriel and the other little boy there had a blast anyway.

The main guy at the bonfire was Andre, Dominic's boss on the cleaning jobs, who is simply terrific. He grew up on the island and has a good business going - he has a crew that goes out and cleans vacation rentals as well as the houses of people who live here year-round. He even said he's going to help me find some kind of part time job so I can get some money coming in before I go broke.

I woke up Monday in my usual combination of pain and fog and ended up not seeing Gabriel at all. The day overall was a bust. I did a little unpacking and arranging. The little leopard turtle died. The two sulcatas are doing great even though they rarely come out. Maybe I'm overdoing it with the sunlight and the light coming in from the window is enough.

Then came Tuesday. I got up this morning and was high as a kite. I couldn’t keep my eyes open but I managed to crawl out of bed, feed the cats, the turtles and Topher (the parrot) and pour myself an iced tea. I then climbed back into bed thinking maybe I could read for a bit and wake up. That didn’t work. I kept dozing off, burning myself three times when my hand would fall onto my thigh on next to me with the cigarette’s cherry hitting my body. Luckily I didn’t burn myself up! Finally I realized I had to not smoke until I was sure I could stay awake. However, somehow over the course of the morning I managed to spill five glasses of iced tea in my bedroom and the kitchen. I wish I had a video of me feeding the animals, lurching about the house grabbing onto anything solid to keep myself upright. It wasn’t until about 9:00 that I began to feel sober. I was also hurting like a son-of-a-bitch. So I took another pain pill, hoping that maybe I could stay sober for a couple of hours and read or catch up with e-mail and Facebook. I managed that with my laptop. But to do it, I had to take off my glasses and hold the screen up about 8 inches from my face to read stuff.

Now it’s 3:15 in the morning on Wednesday. I’m groggy and feel a bit out of it but managing to write this on the computer without spilling anything or falling down. Obviously I need to go a step down on the pain killers – these are too strong for me. I’m going to try to get a lower dosage of oxycontin along with a prescription for 10 mg oxycodone for the times that the pain is too much for the 30 mg oxycontin. I’m worried because I’m stage managing a show this weekend. On Thursday we’re supposed to have a run through and then the performance is on Saturday. I can’t do it in the state. I don’t want to back out of this – it would be a great way to meet some people and show them what I can do. But I don’t want to show up like this. I could still do the show but people would think I was a junkie and I know I wouldn’t be thinking fast enough to do a great job. I’m going to call the doctor when I get up today and see if I can get the script changed in time. We’ll see how it works out.